A Normal Day - Si usted no ve Anime ni juega Videojuegos no lo entendera

I was living alone and by myself since I was 16. It’s been a while now. Among all the things I’ve done, watching anime and playing video games are the ones I’ve enjoyed the most (in a virtual reality of course! – I DO love girls and whatever implies, not to mention that I discovered the wonderful world of “Rominó”). The point is, of all activities the ones recently mentioned have affected me, my reactions and ways of thinking in one way or another. I committed suicide 1½ years ago, which brought my son into being (love you Tatiana, love you Denzel), and ever since I’m a walking corpse who only comes back to life whenever the opportunity to lose myself in the TV comes along. However, drowning myself in that little mix-of-games-animes-and-other-crazy-stuff world is my only to way keep up with the madness of the scary real world.

You think this is nonsense, huh? Let me describe what an ordinary day would be for me…

The sun rises in Konoha Village (Los Minas – and YES! It is full of ninjas) and another day full of promises starts again. Since I haven’t been aggravated enough yet, I can’t teleport in the morning so I can go to work, therefore, a “concho” is my only option available. Along the way I see hollows, motoconchistas, among some other characters quite common to my sight. I’m late (as usual) to my daily duties in Soul Society. I’m not surprised to find around 50 to 60 unread emails from the Fuhrer and Col. Mustang. I would like to transmute the goddamn PC into an Xbox 360 and start playing anything that drags me away.

5:00pm. KAI, KAI!! You can’t longer see me, I just teleported outta soul society and I’m on my way to Konoha once again. I got to my crib. Wait! What’s wrong? I feel this terrible reiatsu all over the place… HADOU-KEN!! Coño! My reflects are still working, I could dodge that shoe just like ex-president Bush did. “Dejaste la maldita toalla mojada en la cama y las chancletas en el medio otra vez!” I froze for a moment, I couldn’t stop thinking about a 25 hit combo I saw in a magazine. I was about to explode, but I kept my reiatsu very low. “Fue que se me olvidó, tu sabe que me levanté tarde” (lame, lame excuse)… “Coño! Pero eso e’ siempre!” (I saw that answer coming, just like the shoe), “Yo no se cuantas veces tengo que decirtelo, tu sabes que esa vaina me encojona.. %#$ @%^ @$@# &**!&!#$!!@#@#!... … … …” … peace… I can’t hear anything… I went away again… my spider sense tingled for a sec… HADOU-KEN!! Mierda! Lo esquivé otra vez!... “Pero ven aca vieja, y si tu me das?” that’s the point of throwing a shoe at somebody, duh!... “Yo te hablo y tu te queda como en la luna!”… the phone rings… saved by the bell… “Aló!.... si… Aaayy hola Carolina!... nah… aqui que Osvaldo llego del trabajo, estabamos hablando…” (first rule of fight club: you do not talk about fight club, second rul…) This is the time when I’m writing down about the evil phone cord that strangles people, I have this evil smirk in my face ha, ha, ha!… Coño! SNAP OUT OF IT MAN! This is not a Death Note, it’s only an old newspaper… “Mi amor, que tu quieres de cena?” WTF?!?! I just don’t get it, maybe the Haitian dude from Heroes was on the other side of the phone and erased her memory. Well, I’m just hoping it lasts the rest of the night… “Pero te toca fregar…!” I wonder, where the hell is Vega and his claws when you need him, ah right! He got beat up in that ChunLi shitty movie. (Milton, I’m still suffering)… pero que le vamos a hacer… just like another article says: Get married, happiness doesn’t last forever… ahora bien, si me zafo de esta… no me agarran nunca!!

By @DON_CORLEONE (toelmundoencura.blogspot.com)